stupid jokes

[Unbeliever]

"A penny for your thoughts" is now "A C-note for your thoughts."

[Hydra009]

Anthropologist: The earliest human religions were centered on Cervidae.
Me: Deer God!
Anthropologist: Exactly.

[Unbeliever]

Doctor to patient: "I've got bad news and worse news."
Patient: "What's the bad news?"
Doctor: "You've got 24 hours to live."
Patient: "OK, what's the worse news?"
Doctor: "I should have told you yesterday."

[Cassia]

I bought a pen that can write under water...
it can also write other words and phrases.

"I have a parrot that says good morning", says one guy.
So, the other guy says, "I have a can that says "Beans" "

[Unbeliever]

Alongside antimatter and dark matter, scientists have now discovered doesn't matter, which has absolutely no effect on anything in the universe.