stupid jokes

[Hydra009]

Linguistic stock exchange update:

Exaggerations are up 900 million percent this quarter
Vagueness is down slightly
Ambiguity is either over-valued or under-valued
Understatement is not doing great
Figurative language is yesterday's news
Anagram is a telescope to see place
Word salad is contemporarily loquaciously mellifluous
Almost no one understands esoteric stock
Sunk cost will pay off eventually
Gambler's fallacy is about to surge, I can feel it!
Misleading vividness is a struggling mother of three who lost her home in a freak meteor strike, was mugged, spontaneously caught fire, and fell down a well in a troubling indication of an increasingly crime-filled and violent society.

[Cassia]

Sunk cost will pay off eventually sums up a few projects I worked on. On time we finished up, and the management told us to shrink-wrap all that new gear and place it in storage. Putin needs to start thinking about "sunk costs".

[Hydra009]

[Cassia]

At a corporate board meeting the CEO tells a joke. Everyone laughs except for one guy.
"Didn't you get it?" the CEO asks the guy.

And the guy says, "Oh, I got it. But today's my last day."

[Cassia]

A man was eaten by a shark on his honeymoon. . .
Thankfully he didn’t suffer long. He was only married for like 3 days. . .

[Hydra009]

A man was eaten by a shark on his honeymoon. . .
Thankfully he didn’t suffer long. He was only married for like 3 days. . .

Ha! Good one. What sort of moron would ever get married...

[Cassia]

A man was eaten by a shark on his honeymoon. . .
Thankfully he didn’t suffer long. He was only married for like 3 days. . .

Ha! Good one. What sort of moron would ever get married...

Morons like me. We have like 5 between the two of us, so we must really like the institution.

[Cassia]

Farmer 1: I just got a new flock of cows.
Farmer 2: Herd of cows.
Farmer 1: Heard of cows?! Of course I've heard of cows, I've got a whole flock of 'em!

[theantithesis]

Farmer 1: I just got a new flock of cows.
Farmer 2: Herd of cows.
Farmer 1: Heard of cows?! Of course I've heard of cows, I've got a whole flock of 'em!

I read that are "flock of crows" at first. That joke would have been murder.

[Hydra009]

If I were Pedro Pascal, I would cosplay as the Mandalorian and pose for photos and no one would ever know.